Well, looky here.
I had decided for a minute that blogs are stupid; the world doesn’t need to know my business. And then I really started missing writing about what was going on in my life, outside of a very personal handwritten journal. I appreciate my close friends’ input on what I have to say, and keeping in touch this way with distant friends (miss you Keels!).
So, in case you were wondering, the divorce is still on, and I’m still living with my parents. Tiegan is adjusting really well so far. She has her moments, the occasional meltdown or misunderstanding (mostly about the fact that Gram & Boppy’s house is now also Mommy’s house, and the house that was once Mommy & Daddy’s house, is now only Daddy’s house). The worst part is getting her to sleep. Her routine is all screwed up because her time is spread out between 3 households every week. That’s going to be one of the hardest things to get around.
Oh, and I’m still seeking a job. I have a couple close leads – just money-makers in the meantime until I can save up, do some more research on the photography thing, and start back up with that. I can’t do it without a partner, though, so I’ll really have to find someone I trust and get along with. And I need to make it a point to spend more time with creative people!
To be honest, I am an ever positive person and I am always looking at the bright side. I am concentrating deeply on doing what’s best for myself and Tiegan, and that’s keeping my mind pretty busy. Sometimes I still need a heavy distraction, because obviously a divorce is serious. I hate wondering what Jason’s doing, and who he’s with, especially females. But I can’t help it. You can’t just turn off 3+ years of closeness. There’s no “off” button, believe me – I’ve tried finding it. It’s not there.
It wouldn’t be so bad if I wasn’t stuck at home, with my parents, while he went out and partied up with old friends (as if I had been holding him back this whole time). But I am here, being reminded to clean my room and put my laundry away like I’m 16 again. I’m also working very hard at proving my adulthood to my parents by showing I won’t tolerate being spoken to like a child (especially in front of my OWN child), without seeming rebellious.
I’ve got a trip to South Haven planned for this weekend with a friend, so maybe that will do me some good. Unfortunately though, my unpredictable “that time of the month” came just in time so I will feel like a big fatty in my bathing suit. Yay!
Anywho… this has been a long enough blog. Until next time…
